Psych Central News
Both Genders Lie About Sex to Meet Social Expectations
Interestingly, the willingness to take liberty with reality occurs only with sex and not with other gender-related behaviors.
For example, researchers from Ohio State University found that men were willing to admit that they sometimes engaged in behaviors seen by college students as more appropriate for women, such as writing poetry.
The same was true for women, who didn’t hide the fact that they told obscene jokes, or sometimes participated in other “male-type” deeds.
The story changes when it comes to sex as men wanted to be seen as “real men:” the kind who had many partners and a lot of sexual experience.
Women, on the other hand, wanted to be seen as having less sexual experience than they actually had, to match what is expected of women.
“There is something unique about sexuality that led people to care more about matching the stereotypes for their gender,” said Terri Fisher, author of the study which appears in the journal Sex Roles.
“Sexuality seemed to be the one area where people felt some concern if they didn’t meet the stereotypes of a typical man or a typical woman.”
To ensure an honest response to questions about sexuality and other gender-role behaviors, subjects believed they were hooked up to a lie detector machine.
Participants were 293 college students between the ages of 18 and 25.
The students completed a questionnaire that asked how often they engaged in 124 different behaviors (from never to a few times a day).
People in a previous study had identified all the behaviors to be typical of either males (such as wearing dirty clothes, telling obscene jokes) or females (such as writing poetry, lying about your weight).
Other behaviors were identified as more negative for males (singing in the shower) or more negative for females (poking fun at others).
But some people filled out the questionnaire while they were attached to what they were told was a working polygraph machine or lie detector. (It was actually not working.)
The others were connected to the apparatus before the study began, supposedly to measure anxiety, but the machine was removed before they completed the questionnaire.
In general, the results showed that both men and women tended to act as would be expected for their gender.
Men reported more typical-male behaviors and women reported more typical-female behaviors, regardless of whether they were attached to the lie detector or not.
Interestingly, the participants didn’t seem to feel any added pressure to respond in gender stereotypical ways for non-sexual behaviors.
In other words, women who were hooked up to the lie detector and those who weren’t were equally likely to admit to bench pressing weights — a stereotypical male activity.
“Men and women didn’t feel compelled to report what they did in ways that matched the stereotypes for their gender for the non-sexual behaviors,” Fisher said.
The one exception was sexual behavior, where, for example, men reported more sexual partners when they weren’t hooked up to the lie detector than whey they were.
Women reported fewer partners when they were not hooked up to the lie detector than when they were. A similar pattern was found for reports of ever having experienced sexual intercourse.
“There is something unique about sexuality that led people to care more about matching the stereotypes for their gender.
“Men and women had different answers about their sexual behavior when they thought they had to be truthful,” Fisher said.
This result confirms what Fisher found in an earlier study, back in 2003 — with one important difference.
Back in 2003, women went from having fewer sexual partners than men (when not hooked up to a lie detector) to being essentially even to men (when hooked up to the lie detector.)
In this new study, women actually reported more sexual partners than men when they were both hooked up to a lie detector and thought they had to be truthful.
“Society has changed, even in the past 10 years, and a variety of researchers have found that differences between men and women in some areas of sexual behavior have essentially disappeared,” she said.
Fisher said the results of the study may actually be stronger than what was found here. Although half the participants were not hooked up to the lie detector while completing the questionnaire, they had been hooked up before they started.
“Some of the participants may have been made uncomfortable by being attached to the lie detector at first, and that may have led them to be more forthcoming and truthful than they otherwise would have been,” she said.
Source: Ohio State University
Intimate couple photo by shutterstock.
World of Psychology
10 Small Steps You Can Take Today to Improve ADHD Symptoms
The key is to pay attention to how ADHD interferes with your daily life and develop strategies that work for you, said Roberto Olivardia, Ph.D, a clinical psychologist and clinical instructor in the department of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School.
Here are several strategies for improving common symptoms, which you can start today.
1. Find professional treatment.
“Because ADHD is an inherited biological and neurological disorder, receiving treatment is very important,” said Stephanie Sarkis, Ph.D, a psychotherapist and author of several books on ADHD, including 10 Simple Solutions to Adult ADD: How to Overcome Chronic Distraction & Accomplish Your Goals.
If you’re not receiving treatment right now, make an appointment with a practitioner who specializes in ADHD. Today, you can research specialists in your area, narrow it down to a few potential candidates, and contact them. (Here’s information on finding a therapist who’s right for you.)
2. Get a simple planner.
Jot down your goals for the day in a paper planner. Then “break them down into small steps to keep you on track,” Olivardia said.
3. Make the most of your smart phone.
Today, “start exploring the many functions of your smart phone,” said Terry Matlen, ACSW, a psychotherapist and author of Survival Tips for Women with AD/HD. For instance, “you can set up voice reminders or type written notes.” You can do this for daily tasks and appointments. Matlen even uses her iPhone to note where she’s parked.
4. Use all surfaces to stay organized.
“Sometimes unique, novel ideas work better because they keep you interested,” and people with ADHD tend to get bored easily, Matlen said. For instance, today, get a pack of white board markers, and jot down reminders on your bathroom mirror, microwave door or even your car’s windshield, she said.
Basically, you want to put reminders on “whatever you tend to look at that ties in with what you need to remember or where you are when you need to remember something.”
5. Ask a friend to keep you accountable.
Accountability and support also are helpful in minimizing symptoms, Olivardia said. For instance, call a trusted friend or relative, and ask them to become your accountability partner. This way you can check in with them about accomplishing your goals, he said.
In general, remember that it’s OK — and recommended — to ask for help. “Getting assistance with daily tasks can help reduce stress, especially considering that people with ADHD have difficulty with detailed work and organization,” Sarkis said.
6. Use transitions to get things done.
“For example, if you tend to watch TV after dinner but walk through a messy kitchen to do so, start a new habit of washing the dishes before heading into the TV room,” Matlen said. Today, think of one such transition and the quick task you can do.
7. Spot the source of your problem.
If you’re struggling with a chore or project, consider what’s holding you back, Matlen said. Maybe you don’t have the right tools to get the job done. If so, “mark in your planner a day [and] time to get to the store to purchase whatever is needed so you can complete the task.”
Maybe the task is inherently boring. “Come up with ways to attack the project so that it’s less painful.” You could invite a friend over to work on their own troublesome task. This way you tackle personal projects side by side, each motivating the other.
8. Tidy up in increments.
For people with ADHD, cleaning can feel like a big, cumbersome task. (Actually, it does for most people.) Carve out 15 minutes today or tonight to put things away, Matlen said. Make it a daily habit.
9. Get enough sleep (and to eat).
“ADHD symptoms are exacerbated when one is sleep-deprived or malnourished,” Olivardia said. So it’s vital to make sleep a priority, and to eat regularly (enjoying nutrient-rich foods).
10. Accept that you have ADHD.
“The greatest obstacle to successful living with ADHD are not the symptoms, but rather the shame that cloaks those with ADHD, preventing [people] from developing useful strategies,” Olivardia said. ADHD often requires you to get creative and work differently than people who don’t have ADHD, he said.
But that’s OK. “[I]t’s nothing to be ashamed of.” Plus, plenty of people with ADHD lead successful, productive, fulfilling lives. (In fact, all the experts featured in this article have ADHD.)
ADHD can affect all areas of your life. But the good news is that it’s treatable. And you can take small steps every day to manage your symptoms.
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